A Hobbit's Life for Me

There's a fire burning in my head tonight. I'm metaphorically banging my head against the wall, bedazzled by humanity. You see, I was recently involved in a situation of little importance, but as you know, the little things in life are what irks us the most, and tonight I am irked. Before I begin my tale, I feel like I must clarify that I am not 'picking' on anyone, and really the point of this post is much larger than the minute situation, whose only importance was really to get the wheels turning in my head. So if you read this, and begin thinking, "Nathan, your a jackass," chill, I still love you dearly, and in all honesty, probably love you more than you love me.

Tonight I will be ripping Christians as a collective group, because we all at some point fall under the umbrella of this post's topic. If you are offended, then you get offended too easily, which is another soap box entirely. But for now, sit back, grab a lemonade, and enjoy a classic Nathan-is-right-and-you-are-wrong- rant.

So a couple of nights ago, I was preparing to head out to a friends house to enjoy the company of some beloved friends who I have not seen nearly enough of this Summer. The night's events consisted of cookies and taquitos and an epic hearts tournament. I love hearts, but I'm not very good. I only have one speed, and that's running the tables, because I go big or I go home. I found myself going home most of the night. Let me back up. I'm getting off on a tangent. Before said party, I received a text from one of my esteemed friends. It said something along the lines of, "Hey guys, in order for a few people to come tonight, I promised them that y'all wouldn't smoke, so yah." To the casual reader, this may seem like a small deal, and I admit that it really wasn't a problem. The guys and I enjoy an occasional smoke on our distinguished pipes, and most of our friends know that. Not all of my friends enjoy smoking, which is perfectly fine. It's not for everyone. The reader must, at this point, understand our habit. I will re-emphasize the word occasionally, which basically means a few times a month. We don't smoke cartons of cigarettes a day, we smoke a few bowls of pipe tobacco, which is much more pleasing to the olfactory sensors that cigarette smoke is. The next important thing to know is that when we smoke, we do so outside, giving those who choose to have beautiful lungs the option to converse indoors where the air is clean. We do our thing, while also being respectful to those who don't like smoke. So what's the problem?

Here's the problem. The problem is that I have 'friends' who are placing conditions on our friendship. And not even good conditions. It would be one thing if we were smoking stogeys indoors, while sipping scotch, and playing cards, where the smoke would suffocate our more tender guests. But that's not what we do at all. We take our business outside. So, by careful calculations, this leads me to believe that the issue isn't the smoking, (how could it be? said guests are not even around the smoke), but rather the idea of smoking. Dun dun dun....... Like I stated earlier, I'm cool if you don't like to smoke. I don't enjoy yoga. But if it's the stigma... woa buddy. Some of my readers know how I feel about stigmas.

As I also mentioned earlier, this story is only a setup to a much bigger picture. The above scenario is meaningless really. But when the issues of the above scenario play out in Christianity, which they do, problems arise.

There's a lot of non-believers in this world. A compelling reason that I have heard way too many times is that NBs (non-believers) say that they can't follow a people who are so judgmental. When us Christians hear this, we scoff and say, "Pah, that's Ludicrous! We accept everybody for who they are!" Bullshit. No we don't. I bet there's a Christian reader of my blogs right now judging me for cussing. Get over it! I'm a nice guy! And it's the little things that set NBs (and me) off. Things like, "I can't hang out with you if your going to smoke." That right there is already batman-signaling your ignorance and unacceptance of a person, and when that person is a NB, they are associating Christianity as a bunch of bigots who think they are too righteous for the rest of the world. Why are Christians so afraid of nutting up and getting their hands a little dirty? For goodness sake, have you read about the places Jesus went?? For those who shudder at the thought of consuming a single drop of alcohol, NEWSFLASH: Jesus made gallons of wine (which has alcohol ;). And not your everyday-run-of-the-mill wine. He made some damn good wine, causing the guests of the party to comment on how the best wine was saved for last. I wasn't there, but I'm pretty sure there was more than one person who was hammered at that party, and yet we find the Son of God right in the middle of this crowd. What if Jesus was like, "Well, I'd come celebrate your Holy union, but.... if there's gonna be alcohol...yah I'm gonna have to skip out. If you were as perfect as me, you'd understand."

Language is another thing that Christians OBSESS over. But do you ever stop and consider why certain language is even bad? We lose our temper and say a curse word, and we better pray because we just sinned, but if we lose our temper and say a replacement word like frick or dang or crap, then we're safe. Shouldn't it be obvious that the real sin is that we lost our temper, not the specific combination of letters we strung together?

As Christians, it is high time that we stepped outside of our little worlds, trekked to the land of Satan, and looked back at our world from the point of view that everyone else sees it. Kind of like standing on the moon. Next time there's a wild party, go and have a beer or two. Don't get smashed, but get your hand a little dirty. Blend in, mix, show everyone that you except them, rather than saying that you do. You'll make a lot more progress in the long run, and gain the respect of NBs. If you do end up getting struck by lightning, my bad, that's totally on my soul. If you don't like smoke, deal with it for the sake of Christ. Nut up or shut up I say. DC Talk says that the greatest single cause of atheism in the world is Christians. Let's change that. Say a curse word today, talk to a person who would tarnish your perfect reputation in the eyes of your fellow bigot christian friends. It's funny, that we look at the material world and shun them for caring about the way they look, but really, we care about the way we look, so much so that we'll skip out on fellowship for the sake of not getting any dust on our shiny mirrors.

Have a sketchy day for Christ.